July 08, 2010

My Life Has Been Really Messed Up

Okay; keeping in touch didn't work out so well. Sorry. And neither did the house I last posted about. It was tiny, tiny, tiny. Wouldn't have been able to get through the bedroom door once my queen-sized bed was in there. Plus it had 3 gas steam-type heaters of some sort (the pipes were running along the kitchen and living room wall) with 2 of them not vented to the outside properly.

So we passed....

That put us living outside in the backyard in a tent for nearly a month before another possibility opened up. As I said in my last post, we ended up losing everything, and it was extremely frustrating trying to get folks to understand just what that meant. My in-laws felt we should either live in the yard and continue to pay the mortgage and utilities (while being exposed to the pesticides each time we went to the bathroom, took a shower, or did the laundry), or move elsewhere and then pay rent to them while all of our things were still in the house. 


I have to say that one of the biggest lessons I've learned throughout all of this mess is that you honestly don't know who your friends and family truly are until you need them.

Needless to say, this whole thing has caused a serious rift between my husband and his brother, because not only did my in-laws deliberately flea bomb the house out of spite, knowing that I cannot live in a house that has been treated with pesticides, but their attitude and actions after-the-fact has been a power-struggle of manipulation.

For the first few days, we ran and stayed with a friend of ours, but there was so much gluten in her home, and I got so sick from being there, that we decided to go home and try to save what we could. My in-law's first response was to make us the bad-guys. We don't have to move out, my sister-in-law kept saying. It was an accident. But if we wanted to, and we thought we could make it without them...and their help... She then went on to say that she needed to learn that this was not her house, and that she keeps forgetting that.

You know...I'm normally a very un-violent person, but boye did I really want to HIT her for that. I really did. Because we've invested 5 years into this little adventure.

The mortgage each and every month of those 5 years was always paid by us (except for one month over this past winter when my brother-in-law paid it out of his income tax return; not because we asked him to, but because he volunteered). The utilities, even when in-laws come home and they go up dramatically, have always been paid by us. Home improvements have been on us, except for a little bit of insulation they bought a few years ago.

Now granted they put in a water filter in the kitchen (but it wasn't good enough for them to drink out of it), and bought a log splitter when they came home one winter and realized they were going to have to split the wood by hand. They also put an air conditioner in the kitchen window. But everything else we have paid for ourselves.

I don't know where my sister-in-law gets off trying to say that we cannot make it without them. They have been a liability to us, since day 1. They have never honored the upfront agreement to have no scented products in the house; and now, no pesticides, on the property. We tried to get them to stop bringing gluten into the home, but that was a new thing, and not part of the original agreement; though their disrespect in that regard was going to come to a head pretty fast since they totally ignored my husband's request for them not to do so.

All I can say at this point, is that I'm extremely grateful we are out of the situation.

One of the people my husband has been working a lot for recently ran down each and every vacant house here in Spring City for us. The result was that the very last name on the list agreed to rent to us, although it wasn't something he was originally considering; so it took a few days for him to decide.

It's bigger than we wanted, bigger than we need, but we were able to work out a suitable arrangement between us (kind of like a care-taker situation) where we can work off most of the rent in exchange for fixing up the place. So that's what we've been doing. Busy, busy, busy cleaning up the place, and doing some repairs.

I don't have a weight scale anymore, so I can't tell you what my weight is doing. I can tell by the few work clothes we managed to save (I had a couple of pairs of cut-offs and a few old-stained tee-shirts in a small end-table dresser in my bedroom, as well as the clothes on my back that day plus an extra set we grabbed when we left the house) that I've put on a few pounds from eating far too many carbs when we were living outside, but at least they still fit; so I'm considering that another maintenance success.

The unfortunate thing is that most of what we brought with us here, (we only brought what we absolutely had to have) including my computer, is outgassing pesticides still. Even the stuff we had sitting outside for over a month; so we are going to have to replace everything. We were hoping that we could save the stuff in the bedroom since our door was closed, but that doesn't look like it's happening.

The good news is that I don't know how long we are going to stay here. We recently received a job offer from someone who is planning on moving to Arizona. If it works out, it's a situation too good to pass up. So some good might come from all of this after all.