It's that time of year again.
The time of year when our mind turns inward toward ourselves and begins to examine our faults, unfulfilled expectations, and non-perfect life.
It's the time of year when we yearn for a new start. We set goals to help us achieve what we feel is lacking in our lives and even commit to solid New Year's resolutions.
Within the resolution process, we find hope in the promise that we can free ourselves from our past errors and mistakes, make the necessary course correction by using willpower and the desire to succeed, and we become determined to let go of everything in our lives that we do not like.
From the instant the clock strikes 2021, we will dedicate the rest of our lives to fulfilling our ambitions.
We will vow to keep a positive outlook, no matter how difficult our goals might seem, and we will refuse to allow failure to poke its head into that task.
Come January 1st, failure is not an option.
And yet, statistics show that only 8 percent of those who set New Year's resolutions actually make it all the way to the end of the year and across the finish line. Despite good intentions and a strong desire to change, we usually don't make it.
We usually fall down and skin our knees within the first 6 months.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
You don't have to be among those who lose sight of what they want and fall by the wayside.
You can succeed.
You can change.
You can find the strength to make a difference in your life and the lives of others.
To do that, you have to understand what true willpower is, where you can find it; and most importantly, how to use it appropriately.
To help you find your way through the mists of self-improvement, here are 3 powerful tips for making New Year's resolutions that you can actually stick with.
What is Willpower?
Do you think that willpower is just going to show up on your doorstep and help you whenever you're faced with the temptation to deviate from your goals?If so, you're greatly mistaken.
Setting goals, or having an aim to shoot for, is a good plan. Sure. But it doesn't mean that willpower will cooperate.
In fact, many people don't have any willpower at all. They just think that they do. They believe they are in control of their choices and actions. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.
So what is the truth?
Many people just react to what happens to them without taking any time to think about it.
Someone punches your buttons, and you are immediately off-and-running – using your habit of whining, complaining, and blaming when things don't go your way.
You demand that others give you what you feel you are entitled to, or you sit around blaming everyone and everything for the way your life is going.
Temptation surfaces, and you completely forget what you said you wanted.
Those intellectually inclined might find more sophisticated ways of complaining and blaming, but not before you have used up your arsenal of self-made rules, following those you consider authoritative, and implementing a wide variety of self-improvement programs that just don't work.
If you're like most folks, this means your resolutions will include:
- the newest weight-loss programs
- debt-reduction schemes
- an effort toward becoming more organized
- saving more money
- improving your relationship with others
- trying to overcome your faults
Without self-awareness, without a strong inner purpose in your life, events, people, and circumstances will always interfere with what you are trying to accomplish.
If your energy reserves are low, or you have forgotten what you wanted to do, you'll cave into temptation before you've even realized what you've done.
You will wake up several minutes, days, or even years later wondering why you did that.
Why did you let go of your goals for just a minute or two of pleasure?
Don't know?
Then stick with me . . .
Most people create goals that focus on what they believe they ought to do, rather than on what they want to be. This is a major mistake because our ability to act with mindfulness and conscious intent is totally dependent on who and what we currently are.
The first step in our ability to change must come from within.
Not from without.
Instead of focusing on outward goals like:
Think about the type of person you want to be.
You will wake up several minutes, days, or even years later wondering why you did that.
Why did you let go of your goals for just a minute or two of pleasure?
Don't know?
Then stick with me . . .
New Year's Resolution Tip #1: Increase Self Awareness
Most people create goals that focus on what they believe they ought to do, rather than on what they want to be. This is a major mistake because our ability to act with mindfulness and conscious intent is totally dependent on who and what we currently are.
The first step in our ability to change must come from within.
Not from without.
Instead of focusing on outward goals like:
- diet,
- exercise,
- debt,
- saving money,
- cutting out excesses
Think about the type of person you want to be.
Bad habits, a careless attitude about money, a craving for sweets or carbohydrates, laziness, and chasing after thoughtless pursuits at the expense of family and friends are all by-products of:
So the first step toward change is to become more self-aware.
- what we are
- what we believe
- and what we find valuable
So the first step toward change is to become more self-aware.
- What do you really want in life?
- What do you really want to be?
Without giving those questions serious thought and allowing the answers to come to the surface of your awareness, any attempt at change is bound to fall short of your aim.
Once you know what you want to be, only then will it be profitable to go looking for the substance we call willpower. Until then, our will won't have any power.
There won't be a healthy, driving force behind all that you do until you cast out your old motivations that are no longer working for you and create a new purpose for living that aligns with what you want to be.
Purpose drives your actions.
Purpose helps you to decide what to do during every single moment of your life.
So if you're functioning from an old, worn out, tattered purpose, a purpose that no longer works for you today, you won't get the results you want until you try something new.
You can't achieve your dreams until you have a mental system that works for you. Something that will help you become what you want to be.
Many people believe that willpower is a force driven by emotion and strong desire, so if you can't stick to your resolutions, it's because human nature entices us to take the easy path – the path of less resistance.
This is the path that makes New Year's resolutions extremely difficult to maintain.
Will is an Act of Creation
Once you know what you want to be, only then will it be profitable to go looking for the substance we call willpower. Until then, our will won't have any power.
There won't be a healthy, driving force behind all that you do until you cast out your old motivations that are no longer working for you and create a new purpose for living that aligns with what you want to be.
Purpose drives your actions.
Purpose helps you to decide what to do during every single moment of your life.
So if you're functioning from an old, worn out, tattered purpose, a purpose that no longer works for you today, you won't get the results you want until you try something new.
You can't achieve your dreams until you have a mental system that works for you. Something that will help you become what you want to be.
Many people believe that willpower is a force driven by emotion and strong desire, so if you can't stick to your resolutions, it's because human nature entices us to take the easy path – the path of less resistance.
This is the path that makes New Year's resolutions extremely difficult to maintain.
While it's true that change is always rocky and uncomfortable, change doesn't come from using a strong-arm of force.
You can't bully your way to change.
That's because true change come's from the mind.
And so does the will that you need to see your path more clearly.
Will isn't about forcing yourself to make the changes in yourself that others want you to make.
Nope.
It's about making up your mind to be you.
It's about using your mental energy to accomplish what you've set out to do, rather than wasting it on useless thoughts and suggestions from your environment that are not important.
It's about being true to yourself and letting everything else go.
Will power is mental energy.
It's energy that is fueled by the body for the purpose of creation.
In this case, that creation would be a result of whatever you have decided is important or valuable to do for yourself or others this year.
Once importance and value have been attached to what you have chosen to do, and you have a clear purpose in mind, that aim is fueled by will.
To keep your will strong, you have to maintain the importance and value attached to the result you want to accomplish. That takes self-awareness and a clear purpose for what you are doing.
For example:
If you decide that you want to remove most processed foods from your low-carb diet, and you move to an eating style that incorporates mostly natural or organic foods, there has to be a solid reason and sense of importance and value for doing that which is much stronger than vanity.
While everyone always does what they feel is right, proper, or justified, at any given moment, value has to be maintained to avoid justification further down the path for dumping the goal you've decided to make today.
That takes a strong mental attitude, but it also requires you to accept your present limitations.
Will isn't necessarily limitless.
And it's easy to lie to yourself about what you really want.
For that reason, superficial goals won't take you very far. Goals have to actually mean something to you. They must be vitally important.
If not, something else will come along in a few days or weeks that will be important enough to uproot everything you've accomplished so far.
If you are new to mindfulness and have been functioning from the perspective of an outdated purpose, one that isn't useful anymore, it's wise to limit your New Year's resolution to the one thing that is most important to you today.
The new year often ushers in a strong need to turn over a new leaf.
That urge to change is fueled by marketing, the self-help industry, talks and articles on positive thinking, diet books and forums, and other self-help strategies that appeal to your desire for self-improvement.
However, most of these self-help dogmas are a result of circular thinking.
The self-help industry thrives on your failure to accomplish your goals. The reasons for failure vary, but if you take a step back and listen to what most of these people, authors, and industries are saying, the failure is because you didn't do more.
Nothing changes because nothing is different.
You are using someone else's self-help program. And while it might have worked well for them, and maybe even for some of their followers, that doesn't mean it will work for you.
Why?
Because your purpose in life might not be the same as theirs.
Your purpose might be contrary to the principles and ideas presented to you in the form of a self-improvement program.
Plus, the program itself might be a hidden form of mind control that your heart is wise enough to reject, even if your conscious mind doesn't understand that.
One of the reasons why self-awareness is so important in the process of reaching your aims and goals is because you have to stay alert and watch for the various forms of temptations that have been specially designed to throw you off track.
If you aren't watching for them to pop up in yourself, you won't discern them, and will end up reacting in a way that's contrary to what you want.
Big business thrives on manipulating you into believing that you are ugly, weak, too fat, and too stupid to know what is best for you.
They tell you what to eat, what to drive, where to live, what to put on, and where to go if you want to be among the “in” crowd. They send you flying in a dozen different directions at once by using threats of future doom or rejection if you don't listen to them and do exactly as you are told.
Buy this.
Buy that.
Or you'll be sorry.
Listening to them boosts their profits and turns us into slave labor.
All of their junk clogs up your mind. It distracts you from your true aim. It leaves you depleted of the will that you need to accomplish your goals.
It robs you of your contentment by turning you into a robot.
You become a weak, enslaved, programmed, and mindless individual who obeys what you are told to do instead of being honest to your own desires.
Instead of following your dreams, you follow someone else's dreams because you are too weak to create and work on your own. Your head is so full of other people's stuff that it's almost impossible to make conscious choices for yourself. Choices that are useful to you, rather than to useful to them.
The key is distraction.
And that requires self-awareness, a strong purpose, and a willingness to shut out and turn away from everything that doesn't help you to fulfill your goals and dreams. That requires you to get the temptation out of your mind in any way that you can, just as soon as someone tries to plant it there.
This holds true whether it comes from inside of ourselves, a product of our own thoughts and imagination, or from someone in your environment.
Yes, that blackberry pie looks delicious sitting there on the table, but if the goal is carbohydrate restriction, then you can consciously supplant that image in your mind with something much more vile and less attractive.
You can remember what the physical symptoms or outcome of eating too many carbs might be, such as what I would experience if I ate something containing gluten; and thereby, remain strong and determined to do that which is valuable for us.
You can also ignore all of the suggestions offered by the media, in diet books, and the self-help industry, which says you are not okay the way you are and need to live up to their standard of being. The only real standard is your own – the person you want to become.
Trying to live up to someone else's standard doesn't work.
Not only because it furthers someone else's goals, but because the goals of others are loaded with contradictions. Contradictions only cloud your ability to discern between helpful and non-helpful ideas.
While it's always wise to have a solid foundation upon which to build, to bear fruit, that foundation must come from your heart – and not the ideals and dreams of others.
The only sure way to keep your New Year's resolution is to keep what you want to become uppermost in your mind. Keep your mind strongly focused on what you want to accomplish, without any outside interference.
That takes self-awareness, a strong purpose, and the ability to keep your mind uncluttered with the unimportant things of life. If you can remember to do that, will won't be as illusive as it now seems.
It will become a beacon of light to guide you, rather than an enemy.
You can't bully your way to change.
That's because true change come's from the mind.
And so does the will that you need to see your path more clearly.
Will isn't about forcing yourself to make the changes in yourself that others want you to make.
Nope.
It's about making up your mind to be you.
It's about using your mental energy to accomplish what you've set out to do, rather than wasting it on useless thoughts and suggestions from your environment that are not important.
It's about being true to yourself and letting everything else go.
New Year's Resolution Tip #2: Make Your Goals Important
Will power is mental energy.
It's energy that is fueled by the body for the purpose of creation.
In this case, that creation would be a result of whatever you have decided is important or valuable to do for yourself or others this year.
Once importance and value have been attached to what you have chosen to do, and you have a clear purpose in mind, that aim is fueled by will.
To keep your will strong, you have to maintain the importance and value attached to the result you want to accomplish. That takes self-awareness and a clear purpose for what you are doing.
For example:
If you decide that you want to remove most processed foods from your low-carb diet, and you move to an eating style that incorporates mostly natural or organic foods, there has to be a solid reason and sense of importance and value for doing that which is much stronger than vanity.
While everyone always does what they feel is right, proper, or justified, at any given moment, value has to be maintained to avoid justification further down the path for dumping the goal you've decided to make today.
That takes a strong mental attitude, but it also requires you to accept your present limitations.
Will isn't necessarily limitless.
And it's easy to lie to yourself about what you really want.
For that reason, superficial goals won't take you very far. Goals have to actually mean something to you. They must be vitally important.
If not, something else will come along in a few days or weeks that will be important enough to uproot everything you've accomplished so far.
If you are new to mindfulness and have been functioning from the perspective of an outdated purpose, one that isn't useful anymore, it's wise to limit your New Year's resolution to the one thing that is most important to you today.
Using Will Appropriately
The new year often ushers in a strong need to turn over a new leaf.
That urge to change is fueled by marketing, the self-help industry, talks and articles on positive thinking, diet books and forums, and other self-help strategies that appeal to your desire for self-improvement.
However, most of these self-help dogmas are a result of circular thinking.
The self-help industry thrives on your failure to accomplish your goals. The reasons for failure vary, but if you take a step back and listen to what most of these people, authors, and industries are saying, the failure is because you didn't do more.
- You didn't do something right.
- You were not positive enough.
- You didn't follow the program correctly.
- You should have tried harder.
- You should have paid more attention to the details.
- You shouldn't have given up hope.
Nothing changes because nothing is different.
You are using someone else's self-help program. And while it might have worked well for them, and maybe even for some of their followers, that doesn't mean it will work for you.
Why?
Because your purpose in life might not be the same as theirs.
Your purpose might be contrary to the principles and ideas presented to you in the form of a self-improvement program.
Plus, the program itself might be a hidden form of mind control that your heart is wise enough to reject, even if your conscious mind doesn't understand that.
New Year's Resolution Tip #3: Stay Aware of Temptations and Make Mental Adjustments
One of the reasons why self-awareness is so important in the process of reaching your aims and goals is because you have to stay alert and watch for the various forms of temptations that have been specially designed to throw you off track.
If you aren't watching for them to pop up in yourself, you won't discern them, and will end up reacting in a way that's contrary to what you want.
Big business thrives on manipulating you into believing that you are ugly, weak, too fat, and too stupid to know what is best for you.
They tell you what to eat, what to drive, where to live, what to put on, and where to go if you want to be among the “in” crowd. They send you flying in a dozen different directions at once by using threats of future doom or rejection if you don't listen to them and do exactly as you are told.
Buy this.
Buy that.
Or you'll be sorry.
Listening to them boosts their profits and turns us into slave labor.
All of their junk clogs up your mind. It distracts you from your true aim. It leaves you depleted of the will that you need to accomplish your goals.
It robs you of your contentment by turning you into a robot.
You become a weak, enslaved, programmed, and mindless individual who obeys what you are told to do instead of being honest to your own desires.
Instead of following your dreams, you follow someone else's dreams because you are too weak to create and work on your own. Your head is so full of other people's stuff that it's almost impossible to make conscious choices for yourself. Choices that are useful to you, rather than to useful to them.
The key is distraction.
And that requires self-awareness, a strong purpose, and a willingness to shut out and turn away from everything that doesn't help you to fulfill your goals and dreams. That requires you to get the temptation out of your mind in any way that you can, just as soon as someone tries to plant it there.
This holds true whether it comes from inside of ourselves, a product of our own thoughts and imagination, or from someone in your environment.
Yes, that blackberry pie looks delicious sitting there on the table, but if the goal is carbohydrate restriction, then you can consciously supplant that image in your mind with something much more vile and less attractive.
You can remember what the physical symptoms or outcome of eating too many carbs might be, such as what I would experience if I ate something containing gluten; and thereby, remain strong and determined to do that which is valuable for us.
You can also ignore all of the suggestions offered by the media, in diet books, and the self-help industry, which says you are not okay the way you are and need to live up to their standard of being. The only real standard is your own – the person you want to become.
Control the Light of Your Attention
Trying to live up to someone else's standard doesn't work.
Not only because it furthers someone else's goals, but because the goals of others are loaded with contradictions. Contradictions only cloud your ability to discern between helpful and non-helpful ideas.
While it's always wise to have a solid foundation upon which to build, to bear fruit, that foundation must come from your heart – and not the ideals and dreams of others.
The only sure way to keep your New Year's resolution is to keep what you want to become uppermost in your mind. Keep your mind strongly focused on what you want to accomplish, without any outside interference.
That takes self-awareness, a strong purpose, and the ability to keep your mind uncluttered with the unimportant things of life. If you can remember to do that, will won't be as illusive as it now seems.
It will become a beacon of light to guide you, rather than an enemy.
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